Lesson #26-Keep your music low

It seems as though music has become quite unavoidable. It's everywhere you go - even in places you would least expect it. Naturally, I find myself exposed to the tunes in the subway. Don't get me wrong, I know you get the occasional performer down there, playing their music for money, but rarely so you ever expect to hear a tune while on the actual train. Not true if you ride the T in Boston. Apparently that is the place to go if you want to hear what is in and hot right now and it's all thanks to the people that carry around an i pod and, as far as I can tell, have trouble hearing.

I understand that when riding the subway, the easiest way to make the experience somewhat bearable is to tune everyone out by plugging your ears with earphones, cranking up the volume and jamming out to whatever music calms your senses, makes you forget about everything around you or whatever it is that music does to you. What I don't understand is what makes you think that everyone else should be forced to listen to it as well. I mean, come on! I'm guessing you are doing it for one of two reasons. You either have trouble hearing, which I guess would kind of, sort of make it okay, or you are simply an inconsiderate person, the latter of which I definitely do NOT condone.

I just find it hard to comprehend how someone not only tolerates that amount of noise shooting into their ears, but how the total absence of consideration for others doesn't register as, well sort of utterly inhuman. I'm going to go ahead and make the following assumption- When you listen to music loud enough to literally blow your brains out, you are going to lose the ability to register what is normal and what is not. So maybe laying off the loud music wouldn't be such a bad idea. Especially given the fact that there are other people forced to travel with you that definitely do not want to have to listen to whatever music YOU are in the mood to listen to.

So there you have Lesson #26. Simply put, turn the volume on your i pod down so that those around you are not forced to listen to it.

Lesson #25- Give up your seat

This is one of those rare occasions where I won't point out an inexplicable behavior, the loss of common sense or a lack of general awareness. On the contrary, I will dedicate this entry to the young man who was kind enough to give up his seat to someone who actually needed it. Now I know there are a number of arguments that can be made for why no one should feel pressured into giving up their seat, but I won't spend my time and effort speaking on their behalf. It's just simply not worth it. Instead, I will try to describe an event that restored my faith in humanity - if only for a bit.

Just briefly though - If you think it is normal to be sitting down when someone who could obviously use your seat more remains standing, I'll simply state the fact that I personally think there is something seriously wrong with you.

Where were we? Oh yes, the event. Having paid his fare upon getting on the train, an older gentleman began scanning the cart for empty seats, all the while trying to maneuver himself through, holding as steady as he could even with the jerky motion of the rocking train. Having passed seven rows of young, healthy, able bodied individuals, he was still on his feet. I promised myself that if he still hadn't found a seat by the time he got to me, I would give mine up. I had just about given up on humanity, when the young man sitting in front of me stood up and insisted that the elderly gentleman sit down. At first, he stood strong, claiming that he didn't need the seat, that he was alright. However, after another few seconds of reassurance from the young man, the gentleman was in his seat. 

After sending at least ten, maybe fifteen thank you's, the older gentleman said something that really struck a chord. He said "This doesn't happen that often, you know..." and as much as it pains me to admit this, I knew he was right. 

So there you have lesson #25. Simply put, give up your seat to those that need it, especially when you know you don't.

Lesson #24- Keep your voice down

Alright, there is ABSOLUTELY no reason for why I should be able to hear a conversation you are having three seats away! And here is the real whammy... Nothing you have to say is important, interesting or entertaining. Trust me! In fact, I am willing to bet that whoever is on the receiving end of your mindless chattering feels the exact same way. And I understand that the subway is a loud place, that this might just be the only time you can have this conversation and that you just absolutely need to have it right then and there, but then you need to understand the following...

YOU ARE IN A CONFINED PUBLIC PLACE! A metal container filled with people! People that do NOT care about anything you have to say! And that, my friend, is not an exaggeration. It is a fact. Hmmm, let's define the word. "...something that exists...something you can not argue with..." Ok, perhaps that is my own definition, but still, it's pretty much right on. And it's not like you can just be tuned out. Maybe they should provide everyone with a complementary set of ear plugs in an effort to make our ride more bearable! I apologize. I seem to have lost my temper a little. Give me a second to catch my breath. 

All right. I can see that my rant is probably not going to stop anyone from conversing in the subway, especially when you are traveling with someone you know. However, I strongly encourage you to keep your voice down. Of course that might mean that you have to get closer to the one you are talking to and things like that which might make the train ride more uncomfortable for you, but you have to remember that we live in a society where people are brought up to be considerate to those around us. Ha ha ha ha. I know, I know, I've gone too far. I'll just leave you with a thought...the louder you are, the more obnoxious you seem and the more people around you are going to resent you. Is that really what you want?

So there you have lesson #24. Simply put, keep your voice down so that people aren't forced to listen to your conversation or you might end up being resented.

Lesson # 23- Don't stare

No matter how slick you think you are, I can always tell when someone is staring at me. And if I can, so can most other people. It's a little something called reflection. Yes, exactly! You got it! There are windows all around the trains in the subway making it really easy to see when someone is eyeing you out. I have been stared at on the subway by different people for various different reasons, I assume. It has ranged from a pervert checking out my ass to a girl judging my outfit to a child that just hasn't been taught that staring at people is just plain rude. 

The interesting thing is that people stare only because they think they can - that the person they are staring has no way of catching them. WRONG! Even though we don't have eyes on the back of our heads, most of the time is spent looking at the window directly in front (to avoid eye contact with other passengers.) Through a very simple concept I like to call reflection, it is relatively simple to figure out that, as the "starer", you can still be seen even though you are not face to face with your "staree". You know, through the reflection in the window. 

Once the "starers" have figured that out, they get smart with it by trying to incorporate a side stare into their repertoire. And again, even though were are not built like horses, with eyes on the side of our faces, there is a simple way to use the windows to detect a "starer". It is the exact same idea as the one mentioned above. All you have to do is turn your head to adjust your line of vision. Instead of looking straight ahead, look at the window at an angle. You will be able to see a lot more of the train and you will catch someone trying to side stare at you. 

Finally, when you have located whoever it is that is starting at you, do me a favor, turn to face them head on and let them know that you can see them looking at you and just watch their reaction. It really is priceless. 

So there you have lesson #23. Simply put, don't stare because even if you think you are being discreet about it, there are many ways to get caught. 

Lesson #6-No PDA

PDA - Public Display of Affection. There's a double standard! When you are the one that's displaying it, you love PDA. When you are the one experiencing someone else's PDA, not so much. 

So call me selfish, call me jealous, call me what you want, but I do not want someone else's passion to be thrown in my face, especially while I am on the subway. Subways are for traveling from one place to another physically... not emotionally (if you know what I mean.) And its not that I don't mind witnessing the beginning of young love, or an older couple holding hands. That just simply wasn't the case for the couple I was caught watching on the Red Line the other day. Holding hands is one thing. Eating someone's face is a completely different game. So, please, wait until you are in a more private setting to get your passion on. 

And here's another thing. At what point did people all of a sudden crave for attention on the subway? What happened to the bubble? You know, the one that makes you invisible to anyone else. Doesn't everyone have one while they're on the subway? Wouldn't they just rather not be seen by any other subway riders? Apparently I didn't get the memo which promotes behavior that will burst the invisible bubble and encourages things like PDA. I'll check my trash. Maybe I threw it away.

So there you have lesson #6. Simply put, don't display your affection for each other on the subway.