First of all, if you have one of those umbrellas that is long enough to be your walking stick, good for you. I'm sure it keeps you very dry. However, if you plan on traveling with it on the subway, get rid of it immediately and invest in one that can fold up to forearm length and keep it as close to your body as you possibly can once you get into the train, because getting rained on inside the train is not my idea of a modern day miracle - it's my idea of like the worst time ever! I guess it wouldn't be so bad if my route stayed below ground the entire time, but no.
You see, I happen to take the Green line trip to Cleveland Circle, most of which happens above ground. So with each person that has been soaking in the rain waiting for the train that gets on and the more they proceed to portray what can only be described as a wet dog shaking itself dry, causing rain drops to fall on my head, the more irritated I get and the wetter the floor gets resulting in a rather slippery surface.
Which brings me to my second point. If the floor is wet, do not use your oversized umbrella to lean on, because it will result in you slipping and jabbing the end of your pointy, massive rain guard into someone's foot! And yes, you can apologize all you want and the victim will probably smile politely and brush it off as an accident, but trust me, they will want to snap you and your umbrella over their knee and throw the pieces off at the next stop.
Well, what do you know? That is exactly what happened the other evening and yes, you guessed right, I was the victim. (You'd think I would actually ever travel with an large umbrella! Come on now!) We were approaching Coolidge Corner and the conductor had just announced that from this point on, the train will go express to Cleveland Circle. In other words, no stops in between. So, of course, everyone rushes to the doors before the train even has a chance to come to a complete stop. Since my destination is Cleveland Circle, I stay put.
The events that take place within the next couple of seconds can only be described as life's way of punishing me for making fun of some girl's outfit in my head two minutes prior. The train comes to an abrupt stop, sending the lady who has been leaning on her umbrella flying across the train, slipping and sliding as she goes, all the while trying to regain balance using her umbrella. She finally gains control by grabbing onto the provided railing (by the way lady, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE THERE FOR!!!) with one hand and pulling herself up using her umbrella as a crutch with the other, the end of which ends up jammed in my foot! She got me right square on the big toe of my left foot! Oh for God's sake! Let's just say she was lucky she was getting off the train and I was staying on. What the hell was she thinking?!
So there you have lesson #11. Simply put, hold on to the provided RAILING until the train has come to a complete stop, especially when it has been raining or you might end up hurting someone. Oh and get a smaller umbrella to travel with.
